having level
there is a concept hidden in the folds of the Eros Sutras that speaks quietly but directly to the architecture of our inner life—especially for those of us who’ve known beauty, then rupture; love, then loss; abundance, then absence. it’s called the
the having level.
the having level is the threshold—the soft but definitive edge—of how much goodness we believe we can hold. how much love, beauty, ease, intimacy, joy, and support we are able to let in before our system begins to flinch.
not mentally. somatically.
because it is not about what exists in the world. it is about what our nervous system believes is safe to receive.
a constricted having level is not a failure of character. it is a scar on the intake valve. it forms when something beautiful arrives at the wrong time. when love disappears. when support is conditional. when trust is ruptured and the body internalizes: it’s better not to need.
we don’t do this consciously. we armor unconsciously. and then when goodness returns, we ghost it. or numb it. or crush it with analysis. or earn it to the point of depletion.
this is not sabotage. this is the body saying: we don’t know how to hold this much good.
why this matters.
in the realm of erotic healing, the having level is the edge between longing and capacity. between desire and permission. we often ask for more—but when it arrives, do we stay open?
most of us don’t. not because we’re ungrateful. but because our system was trained to survive, not to receive.
and as women—especially women of eros, of art, of intelligence—we often carry the belief that to have deeply, we must first prove. that goodness must be earned. that beauty must be balanced by pain. that love must be qualified by performance.
but the Eros Sutras offer something else: that receptivity itself is intelligence. not a lack of strength. not a passive state. but a field of real power.
how to work with the edge.
begin with the body. start to notice when you contract in the presence of something nourishing. when you dismiss the compliment. when you brush away care. when you prepare for loss in the middle of beauty.
this is the edge. breathe there.
name the moment your having level was shaped. name the age you stopped expecting softness. name the incident that taught you to flinch.
do not fix. just see.
then rehearse having. hold good things for 5 seconds longer than usual. let the moment land.
say yes to small desires.
rest when you’re tired—not when you’ve earned it.
ask without apologizing.
when something beautiful comes, and your mind says “too much” or “i can’t hold this” or “this won’t last”—say:
i allow this. i do not have to earn this. i am safe to receive.
we do not heal the having level by doing more. we heal it by allowing more. not more effort, but more presence. not more striving, but more staying. not more fixing, but more letting it in.
what if nothing is wrong? what if the good you long for is already here, but you’ve been holding your breath?
exhale. soften.
this is not about earning worth. it’s about learning to hold it.
WHY THIS MOON MATTERS
The Full Moon in Libra—known as the Pink Moon—isn’t named for its color, but for the moss pinks that bloom this time of year. It’s the first full moon of true spring. It carries the frequency of renewal, beauty, and relational balance.
Libra is ruled by Venus—the archetype of harmony, self-worth, and our ability to be met. This moon invites you to ask:
Where have I been holding back from receiving? Where did I start believing I had to earn everything? Where can I now soften and allow more in—without apology?
A constricted having level is when your nervous system flinches at the very things you long for: love, safety, visibility, intimacy, pleasure, support.
You might downplay your desires. Distrust good news. Stay busy proving your worth.
The body braces even when no threat is there—because the good feels unfamiliar.
This moon asks us to open space inside to meet life differently.
THE RITUAL
What you need:
A candle, a piece of rose quartz or anything pink, paper + pen, and 15 quiet minutes.
1. Set the Scene
Dim the lights. Light your candle. Hold or place your pink object near you.
Say softly:
“Tonight, I allow myself to soften. I allow myself to receive.”
2. Release the Earning Pattern
On paper, write the phrase:
“I release the belief that I must earn love, abundance, or rest.”
Let any memories or emotions come up. You don’t need to solve them—just see them.
3. Expand the Channel
Place one hand on your chest, the other on your belly.
Say aloud (or silently):
“I am open to holding more. I receive support, beauty, and ease. I do not shrink.”
Breathe. Stay with it for 3 slow inhales. Feel the space you're creating.
4. Anchor the New Frequency
On a second sheet of paper, write down 3 experiences you’re ready to receive—not material things, but states or ways of being:
“I want to feel supported.”
“I want to feel chosen.”
“I want to feel at peace in my own life.”
Then write:
“I do not need to earn this. I simply allow it.”
5. Close Gently
Blow out the candle. Fold both pages. Keep them on your altar, bedside, or tuck into a journal. The ritual is complete.
P i n k m o o n e l i x i r
1 tsp Beet, powder
1/2 cup Cherry, tart juice
2 tsp Maple syrup
1/2 tsp Cinnamon
1 pinch Nutmeg
1 pinch Salt
1/4 cup Cashews, raw
2 cups Water
1/4 tsp Ashwagandha
Artist: Jana Sojka