INNER TURNING

i've always know I'd have to find it deep inside me
all the seeking, the yearning for 'the beloved'
all those years spent in forsakenness and agonizing inner void
a loneliness in the midst of my beautiful children's giggles
- oh that's the worst regret, not 'getting it' back then
wish I was so much more present

i had no idea i was unavailable for them at times, 
definitely unavailable for my own self
for genuine presence
sincerely, i thought I was doing good in the world
was always super smart, charming, friendly, caring
connecting, devotional, i showed up
always showed up

not for myself, though - well, i'd take care of my basic needs - but not really
addressed that gnawing deep void inside me - the abandon I felt, the separation from the beloved, from Source

like many, i was a dreamy kiddo - light, fun, kind of in my own play
and then family drama, immigration and teen love painfully burst my 'bliss bubble' and i closed my heart, escaped into the intellect

but even in the mind - we still do get a lot of life lived, in the midst of the shadows, we still get to have a ton of fun and create some quality goodness in the world - no one is spared - no one
we learn, we date, we break, we show up again, we travel the world, we have life altering deep experiences even with the mind boss - but if you are not available for the heart - that visceral LOVE for you - you do not transmute to the next level, to peace
you kind of reach a plateau and you sort of live 'just fine'

about 3 years ago, I found myself on my knees, broken
finally all the depleting negative catalysts reached a threshold - and i was broken o p e n
and my gaze turned inward

that is when blissDesigned decsended from the heavens in the middle of a quiet Hawaiian night
the vessel was finally ready
not perfect, but finally available for the initial codes to download
it was not all instantaneous, nope
one shadow after another came up, one after another
love, failures, ecstacies, breakups, pain so much pain
those of you who have been with me KNOW and you forgive me
i now know
#relentlessLove

so, blissDesigned is an offering from Source, for me and for all the women that have been seeking yearning longing
it's an inner turning
back into loving you, knowing you, being you, freeing you, aligning you, igniting you, and genuinely emerging the PURE you
a path of real deep significance, of impact and a path to BLISS
#freedom #success #radiance
#blissDesignedYOU

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So honored you are here with me. These shots of the LUCID, shots of BLISS are meant to be swift loving and empower you to live the full spectrum of the beautiful powerful blissDesigned woman you already are. 

I am Dr. Denisa Rensen, the Founder and Curator of the blissDesigned MAGAZINE.

I work with Global Innovative Loving Future-Conscious Women as they align & design their lives for SIGNIFICANCE, IMPACT & BLISS.  I am a Coach, a Doctor, a Designer, and a Writer.

We are here to design our precious lives for real significance, for true impact and for that intelligent grounding completing bliss, the home frequency.  Feel free to get your free guide www.blissdesigned.com