syntelic woman

I Long To Take A Bike Ride

With No Destination

Pas De Passé , Pas D'avenir

Telic - activites that have a finite end, a purpose of completion

Autotelic - activities that have no finite end, no purpose of completion

How rare are those moments in life that are purely Autotelic. Without a clear or not so evident purpose. Those drives you took as a teen - just because. Those mornings you took off for no reason - staring at the ceiling. I swear, I cannot recall many these at all moments. Telic - life is filled with them.

I grew up in a rather stoic family. Joyful, but immigrant, purpose-addicted. When you leave a past that is full of hardship and hopelessness, you instill in your children a real drive and focus purpose. 'do something valuable, time is money'. This is why the first generation of immigrant families are so so driven, so so full of will. 

That was me, growing up. Always up to some purpose. I had this inner urge to create one even out of a simple navel gazing. So exhausting to be honest. No wonder in my 20s I took off and travelled the world solo. Any excess leads to a deficiency. 

I always battled with purpose and the purposelessness of it all, simultaneously. My piscean/aquarian freedom loving heart beating within my ribcage,  I was a telic-grown woman - atelic in disguise. Always useful, always in use. 

After you've been lifed the 30s, having children and marriage, the mid-40s halleluja! bring some lucid lessons home. Telic activities, full of meaning, significance and purpose - mean shit if not backed by the free flow inspirations that download in autotelic times. Rogue walks, deserted beach days, books off the side road shelf, baths for no reason. I pray for the day I just book a flight - not knowing where. Just a flight ahead, unknown destination, no hotel bookings.

I love to live syntelic. A synchrony of autotelism and telism.  A fusion of inspired free-flow and down to earth purpose. Listening, receiving, being before any momentum, any action, any purpose/impact driven life. It's how I, as a genX woman, thrive most. 

 

Yin Comes Before

Yang

Receive First, Your Love Story

Life, Depends On It